It’s 10:30 at night and I am lying underneath our house in a 3 foot crawl space, wedged beneath two large intersecting pipes, wearing a bra and blue jeans in the semi darkness. The washer and dryer aren’t hooked up yet because we are still working on the back porch. It is much easier for me to get dirty and take a bath then for my shirt to get dirty and need to be hauled across town to the laundromat.
Rocks and dirt are cutting into my back as I wait for David to push one of seven coaxial cables through a small hole where our cement foundation connects to a floor joist. My “job” is to reach my hand into the small hole, grab the cable and pull it through to hole.
D (yelling through the floor boards): Do you see the cable yet?
H (yelling back): No.
D: How about now?
H: No, I don’t see anything. Shine the flashlight in the hole. No, I still don’t see the cable.
I hear David pulling the cable back out of the hole and putting it back in at a different angle.
H: Ok! I see it. Stop! Stop! Stop, pushing the cable.
I finally grab the cable and pull it through. With one hand, I keep pulling…and pulling…and pulling the cable.
H: David. DAVID.
H: How much cable is there?
D: About 15 feet.
H: We are going to be here ALL night.
D: Keep pulling. Just keep on pulling. Keep on pulling. Ok, keep on pulling.
H: Stop. Saying. KEEP. ON. PULLING! What do you think I’m doing?!
D: Ok. That’s it. Stop pulling. Stop pulling!
H: Oh, thank God. David, you did put the cable through the hole in the wall stud before you put it through the hole in the floor, right? David?
I see the cable frantically moving back up through the hole in the floor.
H: David? DAVID?! David, tell me you are kidding.
D: I’m not kidding. Sorry. Ok, lets do this again!
H: How many of these cables are we doing?
H: I’m in the dirt, in my bra, in the dark.
D: We’re almost done. You are doing a great job.
How does he know what type of job I’m doing? Why am I the one underneath the house? He’s not going to be winning a limbo contest any time soon I think to myself as I shimmy between the two large pipes, trying to find a more comfortable position.